Living with Anxiety: Doing The Thing Anyways
New Light Counselling NL
Doing The Thing Anyways
Anxiety has the power to make us believe all sorts of things: that we’re not good enough, not smart enough, not brave enough. It leaves us second guessing ourselves and our ability to succeed. So, what happens when we start listening to all of the things anxiety tells us we can’t do? We start limiting our adventures, making our world smaller and smaller. When anxiety shoves us into a small, cramped box of limited experiences, it will have succeeded in it’s true purpose!
Anxiety encompasses a wide range of symptoms that include many different aspects our daily experience - whether it’s through bodily sensations such as sweaty palms, upset stomach, or a pounding heart, through our minds, including negative thoughts about ourselves, our abilities, and our future, or through our behaviour, for example avoidance - anxiety can influence it all.
When we face different triggers - which will look different for each and every one of us - we start to feel the telltale signs of anxiety, whatever that might look like for you! When these feelings start to arise, we do whatever it takes to avoid, escape, or ignore it. What ends up happening is that now we feel unable to go out with friends, to attend class or apply for that new job, because anxiety tells us that we can’t - that we’ll fail.
“Living with anxiety, turning up and doing things with anxiety, takes a strength that most people will never know”
— Matt Haig
It’s hard to imagine facing the uncomfortable jumble of thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that make up anxiety. Trying to push through the very uncomfortable sensations in our bodies, or go against the nagging thoughts in our minds - in order to continue spending time with friends, studying for an exam, going to class, or applying for that new job - can be difficult and exhausting.
But, what we tell ourselves when we “do the thing anyways”, despite our feelings of anxiety, is that anxiety does not get to control how we live our lives - it does not get to limit our experiences, or put us into a small box. Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand that this is not always easy, in fact, it can be some of the most difficult experiences that we face! When we think about it, we’re going against every biological instinct to avoid uncomfortable feelings and potential danger.
The hope is, that each time we take that step into the unknown, we tell anxiety that it doesn’t have control, we have control. And that each time we take one small step into our discomfort, that the next time will be even a little bit easier!
So, whatever that thing is for you - going out for supper with friends, applying for a new job, going to class - let’s take a step towards accomplishing it! One small step at a time.
Valerie St-Gelais, MACP, C.C.C.
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