Normalizing “Good Enough” Days

Ever have one of those days where all you do is wake up and move from the bed to the couch? You may take a look at your to-do list and it seems never-ending - laundry, dishes, work, exercise, cook super, more dishes, walk the dog. Even the smallest task seems overwhelming. Instead, you just send that one email, or put in one load of laundry and think to yourself "good enough", before heading to the couch to watch Netflix.

In my experience, what typically happens on those days is that we beat ourselves up for putting things off until tomorrow, for being lazy, for not doing enough. I think as a society we tend to hold expectations about what level of productivity is "acceptable". Where does this pressure come from? Well, the 40-hour work week was established with the assumption that there would be someone else fulfilling day-to-day responsibilities (e.g. cooking, cleaning, childcare, errands), in a time when divorce was rare, females stayed at home, and males dominated the workforce. The 40-hour work week was never designed to be executed by just one person in addition to all the other responsibilities we hold in the run of a day! The 40-hour work week may be profitable for companies and consumption, but what about it's impact on our mental health?

When we come up short of these societal and personal expectations - look out. Coming up short is followed by guilt, anger, self-criticism, self-doubt, and a host of other self-deprecating thoughts and emotions. When we hold ourselves to the highest level of expectation each day, we are bound for disappointment. This is because doing our best is going to look different each day. Just because I can complete a to-do list of 20 items in one day, doesn't mean I'll be able to do the same tomorrow - and that’s okay!

“Good enough” days look like giving our best. It may be a day where you get out of bed, brush your teeth and put some clothes on. The important thing is, we don’t have to accomplish a major list of responsibilities to have a sense of fulfillment. Simply living and making it through the day is good enough.

Not only are "good enough" days OK, they're actually really important for our well-being and our ability to be productive in the future! If we're constantly working at 100%, it's only a matter of time before we crash and experience burnout. "Good enough" days allow us to relax, recuperate, and recharge, so that we can come back to our to-do list another day and feel confident and energized.

So, how can we begin normalizing "good enough" days, when they feel so wrong at times?

Self Compassion is key.

Giving yourself a guilt-free day off can be difficult. What your mind and body need most on those days where all that seems doable is moving from the bed to the couch, is lots of self-compassion and patience! Self-compassion is the opposite of being hard on yourself:

• It's telling yourself that you deserve a break, that you are doing more than enough and now is time for your mind and body to rest.

• It's honouring what your body needs most in the moment - whether it be a hot bath, some yoga, or just lying down for a few hours.

• It's allowing yourself to let go of the to-do list while you take some much needed time for yourself.

Self-compassion is not always easy. You'll still find moments where those self-critical thoughts might pop up, where that desire to get stuff done - the "go go go" - makes it hard to relax. But there are ways we can practice self-compassion that might make it a little easier.

Next time you find yourself beating yourself up for ignoring the to-do list, thinking "I’m lazy", or "I should be doing more", or experiencing guilt about taking a day off to relax, try and recognize how hard you work throughout the week and that constantly running on 100% is unrealistic! Try telling yourself "whatever I can get done today is good enough".

Valerie St-Gelais, MACP, C.C.C.

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